Watershed Feet

Where will my feet... take me today? Frannie's Feet, PBS Kids early morning

Art Bell on his late night Coast to Coast radio show called it
The Quickening, a sense of something Big coming soon; not necessarily bad or good. It all depends on how you look at it....Is a blackhole's event horizon good or bad? Is the glass half empty or half full? Is it Global warming or Little Ice Age?

Maybe it's the dreaded E word. Brings out the crazies and handwringers.. in everyone; and in every dinner conversation. Speaking of The Troubles....we're in loan mod....at least we *hope* we are;and not just another couple of saps who fell for the ol' Help for Homeowners line....We are 1/2 way through a 90 day process where we'll learn one way or the other. Either we pay a few more hundred, unaffordable dollars a month for a 30 year fixed peace of mind, OR, we will be at the mercy of the bastards at CountryOpenWide every 6 months up to a 13% ceiling. Hoping this f'ing E blows over, blows up, calms down. Hoping they'll allow us to Re-Fi when common sense and the Dow regains its footing.

Divining rods. Speaking of...My feet are psychic, isn't that a hoot. I always thought that I was, but I'm no Madame Cleo. It's my feet. First it was my Left; during the time I lived with my 92 year old grandfather who stood on the event horizon without fear. Now it's the Right and my...sigh, Bunion. Wikipedia says A bunion is a structural deformity of the bones and the joint between the foot and big toe, and may be painful. A bunion is an enlargement of bone or tissue around the joint at the base of the big toe (metatarsophalangeal joint). The big toe may turn in toward the second toe (angulation), and the tissues surrounding the joint may be swollen and tender. I can't wear anything but my starter chick's prom sandles and those fancy 1-rhinestone getups you've seen in my earlier posts. Tender yes, painful you bet.

But feet, don't fail me now. You're telling me; I'm telling you.. something is happening. No, not just Swine Flu, Earthquakes, Arlen Specter hopping the aisle. (What the hell was THAT?!) Anyhoo, these are just signs; but not the end all.... Maybe all will be known; beyond the point of no return, past the event horizon.. on or about 3pm May 13. That's when I will have the protrusion removed. The boney-pokey, always present pain will be traded for a few days of hazy dull, aching, hurry up-and-change-the dressing..pain. Then, in just 4-6 weeks (2 weeks no weight bearing) I can finally put these Sylvia Brownes up and give 'em a rest. Maybe the Economy will turn; letting me sport my first Jimmy Choos, Manolo Blahniks...{Robert} if you are reading this...I would love at least some nice Stuart Weitzmans. But there's always a price.

The Shining. All in the family: Big Toe Turning.
Where will Sofia's feet take her today? HER appointment for her soothsaying feet is May 5th. (You see, she has the in-toeing). Yes, I think it's more pronounced in her Left foot; No, Gramma says, she sees it more on her Right. And So It Goes.

The Long Journey Home

CHAPTER 1

Dear JoAnn c/o Midpoint Cafe, Adrian, TX (Jun 8, 2008)

4 years ago, when we were first dating, my boyrfriend--now husband--Robert and I drove to Amarillo in just 2 days from California to travel Route 66 West to Santa Monica. After a great lunch in your cafe, we picked up the little stuffed Armadillo in your gift shop, along with the requisite tin road signs.

Quizno, we named him. He had been on several more trips with us including our honeymoon in Maui and on His Last Trip to Palm Springs when I was 8 months pregnant with our twin boy and girl in 2007. Was it the hormones, or did I overreact, when i found (sheepishly admitting, several days later) he was lost. I asked Where's Quizno? My Hot flash, turned to cold realization... We had left him behind in the bed sheets when we checked out of the Palm Springs condo. The good folks at Lost & Found; Manager's Office; and Laundry Staff never found him. My husband actually had tears in his eyes.

Come to Find that all this time.......my memory of those whirlwind two weeks on the dusty road clouded my brain I guess.....I thought we picked him up at the Big Texan in Amarillo. Robert and I stumbled on the truth one night during an argument. He reminded me as he dragged out the photo album that Quizno was in fact from Adrian several hundred miles into our trip; in Your gift shop. I flew to my keyboard. Googled you and found Him...Right where we found Him--on your website gift shop. Only $6.99; $12 for two.

He has meant a lot to us, (stupid stuffed animal...get outta here, i don't want you anymore). He has was been with us at each Milestone of our courtship and marriage and was strangely in our thoughts after we had our babies. "I wish Quizno could meet them." We are SO excited to welcome him home again. I received confirmation that My paypal order has gone through. Please let me know when we can expect him....

CHAPTER TWO - tomorrow. Yes, we have No Armadillos

Dressing Up Is...

...Changing into my black Airwalk flip flops with one rhinestone. Note the über trendy skull-tattoo motif.

Target Moms

I think i have unwittingly, and I must say, delightfully, joined an elite club...maybe not as surreptitious as the Masons, but damn near.

I am a late night Target Mom. It's become an obsession. I won't say it's an addiction. That would mean you have Target seeking behavior ALL the time. You're either doing it, just done it or thinking of how to get there. No, it feels more like getting ready for a First Date. I brush my hair for the first time today. Apply lipstick again. (you all know i can't go an hour without it), but NOW it's fresh and ... READY for action!

Getting kids to bed, rush to purse, car keys, air kiss Robert goodbye and I AM GONE.

I AM THERE. Basket OR Cart. Better take the Cart, you know how this ends. Somebody spoke, and I went into a dream. Ahhhh, aaaaaaaaaahhhhh, ah, aaaaaaaaaaaHaaaaa, aaaaaaaah haaaaaaaaa.

It doesn't matter what was on my conservative list.... The one i thought about all day, thinking of an excuse to go. Bisquick on sale, size 5 flip flops for Sofia. THE $1.00 BINS. Notice how some things there are actually $2.50?!! the outrage. That's how they get you. ...

I still walk out of there, feet barely touching the floor, having spent 4x what I planned. Usually around $73.47 to $113.00. But I don't care...I deserve THIS. God Dammit. After the incompetents i have to put up with all day M, T, W, F and partially online-during-naps-only THURSDAYS.

Home again, jiggity jig. I'm exhausted. Robert helps me sneak the smooth red & white plastic bullseye bags into our foyer - hoping our neighbors didn't see me...Again. The Enabler.

I tuck the receipts into the magnetic clip on the fridge...The Joint Account OWES me....next to the scribbled note I penned earlier today when i was plotting my escape after watching the inane Sprout Channel's Make Way For Noddy:

Animal Excrement Train
(Oh, I misheard one of the characters. He actually said Animal Acrobat whoops)

Full STEAMER ahead

Poo-POO!

OH Boy/Girl, mom needs a vacation